When I was younger (a common theme in my writing) I rarely spoke. I actually bothered people with my incessant silence. It was common for people who knew me really well to ask if I was alright because I hadn't spoken in several hours.
When I was lucky enough to make friends I learned (through trial and error) that its common for people to speak to one another. Having spent so much time observing everything else, I had somehow not managed to notice what people actually say to one another. I spent some time observing but found I had to pick up common phrases to assimilate. Eventually I learned that my new friends had picked up much of their language from media. I learned to do the same thing and managed to perpetuate that throughout my life. Here are the main television/movie/personality influences on my speech patterns. They've influenced so much about how I talk. From my word choice to my accompanied hand gestures, my inflection to my odd phrases - I owe the writing credit to other people.
George Carlin:
This cranky man was my first influence in the world of speech. Even before I started doing a lot of it myself, I learned most of what I know about cursing and sarcasm from this wonderful man. He brought into my life the shining light of caustic wit, the beautiful flower of creative insult and the gorgeous use of the word 'fuck.' I've read his books (some of my favorite and most inspirational when writing this blog) and I now own (thank you Perry) the majority of his stand up on dvd. He will forever be my hero and I still tear up when I think about the fact that he isn't with us anymore.
MST3K:
One of the first things my early friends introduced me to was this amazing show, and the often forgotten movie. When we weren't watching one of the following shows, or trying to catch some Skina-max
on my parents cable, we were watching Mystery Science 3000 the Movie for the dozenth time. Their unique ability to criticize and make fun of the terrible movies while still showing them a demented sort of homage is still impressive. The amazing one liners are incredibly well written. I can think of at least 10 right now without pondering too hard. Without fail, those lines show up in my every-day life, and I can't think of a better way to show my love.
Eddie Izzard:
The first I heard about this interesting man was his HBO special "Dress to Kill." I caught it once and searched in vain (before the amazing advent of regular internet and search engines that will find anything) for it again. My friend and I ran around questioning everyone: "Cake or death!?" His amazing comedy is so worldly. References to history, the Bible, Star Wars and English movies are just some of the truly innovative subjects he compiles. Taking a comedic look at the arrival of the Pilgrims on American soil has changed my entire view on so many historic moments. I have always enjoyed history, but now I know that my ability to make simple moments dryly funny in my own head isn't so weird.
Disney:
The Disney movies from my youth were a bit different. I find a lot of things funny in most of the older movies, but that's just cause I look at them and see how ironic some it really was. What I learned from the Disney movies of my time was probably not what they meant for me to learn. Sarcastic comedy is probably the foremost, along with a bit of innovative word choice and a love of musical moments concerning intimate thoughts. Gaston really shouldn't have sang about how much better he was than everyone else, but they did agree with him. The Genie may have been out of his depth, but he sang about all of it. Simba couldn't wait to be king, and even if that did concern the death of his pa, he was excited about the prospect.
If you know me at all, you know its the sarcasm that really got me though. Ursula, in the Little Mermaid, really made a lot of points with aside remarks that were really quite sarcastic. Her entire villain song is a sarcastic retelling of what she really does. The Genie spends most of Aladdin joking around (when they're not using surprisingly large words for a cartoon) and trying, in vain, to be upbeat about the situation. While Carlin really was my first look at the beauty of sarcasm, Disney really put they're mark on me as well.
Clueless:
I know you think it's silly, but Clueless is a pretty awesome movie. If you've watched any of the behind the scenes stuff (which, really, who does that?) you'll remember that the writers spent the better part of a decade putting the information together for the script. While the storyline is incredibly simplistic, and the characters are only as fleshed out as is necessary, the writing is inspired. Better than that, the writing is inspiring. Most of the supposed Valley Girl phrases were from places nowhere near the Valley. Josh, the college student, has some cute witicisms himself. My favorite part, all of the phrases make a lot of sense and can be understood in just about any situation. The entire movie is quotable, and if you read my facebook you know it recently was lol.
Arrested Development:
This was a very short-lived show, on Fox I believe? Unfortunately I never caught it while it was on, but I own all three seasons on dvd. Someone who I once considered a very close friend introduced this to me, and I've been a huge fan since. While the characters are wholly unrealistic, the writing and of course directing, are superb. I may not have absorbed as much from this show as I have from some others, but it has left me with an interesting view on life. I can always be happy I'm not Gob. Or Buster. Or George Michael and in love with my cousin. Or Michael left to handle my insane family. Or...
Friends:
I guess this leaves us with the two most influential shows on my.... speech.
I wasn't a fan of Friends when everyone else was. Meaning, I never watched it on television during its 10 year run. Later, though, I found Friends. Say what you will about this show, but it made it 10 years and never had a bad season. There are maybe a handful of episodes that don't have at least five amazing lines or moments. All of the characters manage to evolve and still be themselves, that is hilarious in their own way. Chandler stays awkward and caustic. Self deprecation and pop culture references are his bread and butter. I related so well with Chandler that I even tend to make his facial expressions. The entire cast is superb and balances one another so well, and I've learned from them all.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
Yes its true. I'm a Whedonite. I've included phrasing and words from most of Whedon's works. Firefly is genius. Dr. Horrible is inspired. Angel even has a few great moments. More than anything else in my life, though, there's Buffy.
I've watched this show almost as many times as I've watched Friends. The problem is that Buffy really gets me. I cry 5 out of the 7 seasons. Whedon's unique writing skills (which his excellent staff of writers learned to assimilate) make up the majority of my expression. If its not Xander's stumbling witticisms, its probably going to be Faith's slang. Spike's sarcastic (whoa, more sarcasm!) come-backs are probably my favorite to relate, but they don't fit as well in normal scenarios. The whole cast is floating around in my head adding to most of my thoughts. I don't even consciously think about it anymore, its just there. Come to think of it, I need to watch it all again. I miss Giles...
And thus concludes my strange explanation on why I talk (and often write) the way I do.
